Louise defined herself as a worrier, from a worriers family. Pain was "normal"... After tapping, it appeared that pain might not be "normal" and mandatory after all.
Louise's friend had heard of EFT, and asked me if I could help. She said Louise was very anxious, to the point it made her physically sick. Louise is in her twenties.
When I met Louise, she didnʼt know much about EFT. Her friend had been unable to explain it to her (she hadn't actually tried it for herself) and only told her it looked like a potential help to her problems. Louise only wanted to know a bit more of what it was about.
I gave her a short history of EFT, a few examples of cases I had witnessed, and shared that absolutely everybody has something to solve. She said she was from a family of worriers, and therefore was always worried herself. I don't think that the "worry gene" has ever been identified (yet?), but unfortunately, this built a strong belief in her that things HAD to be that way. Fortunately, EFT can open new doors... I also explained through an example that the same symptom might have 2 very different root causes and solutions, so the important piece was to find where the symptom was originating from in HER case.
We were at her place, which she is sharing with a few other people. We were sitting in a room used by all, with some of her house-mates coming in and out. Even though there is a great friendship and confidence in the household, it was quite obvious Louise wasnʼt keen on talking about any "real issue". This was more a social encounter than a proper session.
The best way to explain EFT to a new-comer is to try it with them. I asked her if she had any physical discomfort at that very moment. She mentioned a few things but said that right now, she was more annoyed at a pain in her shoulder. She rated it as a 4 on the 0-10 SUDS scale. I demonstrated all the points, but only used to top of the body for the full session. Our first round was very basic:
Even though I have this pain in my shoulder, I love and accept myself.
with reminder phrases such as : this pain in my shoulder, I choose to release this pain in my shoulder...
When I had asked at the beginning, she had said that the “I love and accept myself” part didnʼt come easy, but I didnʼt feel that as a strong reticence, didnʼt address it, and she never mentioned it again. The pain moved to her neck, still at a 4. I reassured her and explained the “chase the pain process” as a very usual one, and we did one round, similar to the previous one, only focusing on the neck. The pain stayed in the neck, now at a 2.
The 3rd round was more on the emotional side : Even though I still have this 2 pain in my neck, I forgive myself for whatever I might have done to create that pain, and I do love and accept myself anyway.
Reminder phrases included : this remaining pain in the neck, maybe I can be a pain in the neck, I forgive myself, I choose to release the pain, I forgive my neck....
She took a short while to assess herself, looking for the pain. She didn't say that the pain in the neck was gone, but she eventually said her whole body was now stiff, She added that it was normal, since sheʼs a worrier, and sheʼs always feeling some level of stiffness. As far as she was concerned, we were done and she was a new "convert". We discussed the process and the feelings when tapping on the points. When you start practicing, you might notice tha tyou respond more when tapping on specific points. It doens't happen to everybody, but “her” points seem to be under the eye, and under the arm, which makes sense, both being related to the stomach, directly or as a companion to the spleen, the imbalance of which is definitely visible as worry and anxiety. I asked if she would like to try and get rid of her remaining body stiffness too. She looked [pleasantly] surprised at the idea, and said yes. I asked her if she could identify any specific worry she had right now. As she was hesitant, I told her I didnʼt need to know what it was. She immediately relaxed and confirmed she had one main worry. We called it "this big worry".
"Even though I have this big worry, and it makes my body stiff, and itʼs always stiff anyway, I still love and accept myself, and I forgive myself for whatever I might have done to contribute to that stiffness."
Reminder phrases varied as we went through the round, including: this big worry, my body is always stiff, itʼs normal, or is it?, worrying wonʼt help it, I thank my body for telling me about my worries, I choose to release that big worry, I choose to release the pain, I forgive my body, I forgive myself, I donʼt need this stiffness, I choose to relax, I choose to be calm about that worry...
Again she couldnʼt say what she was feeling. I suggested sheʼd stand up and walk. After a couple of minutes (which is very long when you're waiting for a "verdict"), checking her body in any way she could think of, she said she actually didnʼt feel the stiffness anymore “and all this, only taping your body in places!”. She got her notebook to write down a few ideas and websites. As she looked interested in EFT now, I suggested sheʼd write the list of all her worries to work on them, a common procedure amongst EFTers, opening the palace of possibilities.
She nodded knowingly when I said it should fill in a few pages of her pocket notebook, so I guess sheʼs quite familiar with them. I advised her to identify specific events, rather than general feelings. She also had to be aware that she could now help herself with it for any “little thing”, but that if she wanted to address deeper issues, professional advice might help.
She worked as a social worker last summer, and remembers a schizophrenic lady, who had been raped by her father as a child, and kept talking about all those occurrences of trauma she went through, with details. Louise wondered if EFT would be any good to her. EFT could certainly be tried to help her but I had to make clear that any serious illness should not be tackled without medical advice. In any case, when we parted, I left a rather dazzled Louise.
A newcomer to the world of EFT!